one thing I detest most about my mom is that she can be ridiculously unreasonable. when i mean unreasonable, I literally mean, FUCKING, unreasonable.
just 5 mins ago, she got pissed at me, because I defended my maid. well, I always defend my maid from my mom’s extremely ridiculous and nonsensical scoldings and discipline. she was looking for my blouse, apparently, a blouse that she wanted to borrow from me. so she asked my maid where she hung it. my maid had to search high and low for a blouse that she had no idea what my mom was referring to and had to do it in the midst of getting yelled at by her. my dearest mother, also failed to remember that im actually leaving for Seoul tmrw, and there might be a possibility i had packed it into my luggage, because afterall, that blouse belongs to me.
true enough, I found it in my luggage and btw, I had no idea it was that particular piece she was referring to because it was a size 2. and I didn think my mom actually thought she could fit into that. anyway, that aside, I found it ridiculous and unreasonable for her to scold my maid relentlessly and making accusations like “all you can do is use your mobile phone when im not at home etc etc etc”.
the usage of mobile phone HAD NO RELATION or whatsoever to looking for that blouse. & my mom expects my maid to remember and know exactly what blouse she was looking for just by the mere description that “it is grey and belongs to claudia”. for the record, I have quite a no of grey stuff in my fucking closet.
so i defended my maid and I told my mom to quit being so unreasonable and nonsensical in her scoldings etc. and there you go, mom’s super pissed at me now.
two days back, a similar incident happened. my mom scolded my maid for spoiling a pair of nike yoga pants by ironing it. I bought the yoga pants on my own, and I didn even make a big hoo-ha out of it because really, you could hardly tell the damage firstly because it’s black, and secondly, it’s those material which medium heat ironing wouldn do much harm to it. my mom insisted that my maid keeps spoiling our clothes, and wasting her money into buying them. so I stood up and said, I bought the pants on my own, so really, it isnt that big of a deal. and i believe my maid did it out of a honest mistake. but no, my mom again, got pissed at me for not “giving her face” in front of my maid and reprimanding her.
To me, it’s really not a “face” issue. i will stand by whatever is right. and clearly my mother is wrong, but HATES to admit and accept the fact she has just been proven wrong. she is ALWAYS in the right with whoever she has a conflict with. and when i mean always, i literally mean, ALWAYS, because I really cannot remember the last time my mom actually apologized to ANYONE. when shes clearly in the wrong, all she will do is get pissed at whoever who had just proven her right and not speak to the person for days, making it seem like the person’s at fault.
do not get me wrong, im not saying my mother is a bad person. she’s in fact one of the most kind-hearted and best people around. but at times, things like these, REALLLLYYYYYY gets on my nerves.
the fact now remains, she just got pissed at me and chooses not to speak to me, even though im flying off tmrw morning. i wonder if its just women her age. because from what I can rmb, she didn used to be like this when I was younger. she didn scold the maid that often and actually made an effort to appreciate their help.
& just so you know, my maid is really dear to me and she has been such a wonderful help for the past few years. also, one thing I can never tolerate is ill-treatment of our domestic helpers. you have no idea how much I despise those idiots when I read about how they abuse their maids in the news. for those of you who actually think that your maid is working under your fucking nose, please think again. they’re just as human as we are and they are here to earn their keep. so please dont abuse them and throw your stupid “almighty” orders on them. speak to them like how you want people to speak to you. they’re here doing your a favour, extending their help, and should not be treated like dirt. put yourselves in their shoes before you choose to ill-treat them.
okay, im done here. gonna sleep it off and catch my flight.
adios guys.
what hurts me most is when you’re extremely insensitive with the things you do and say. doesn’t it occur to you that I have feelings too? Worst still, the words you use on me and the audacity you have when you used it.
am I just anyone you scold and curse? with no remorse nor even an effort to say your apology? you make me question what we have, and if everything is just a game to you.
I dont know if it can ever be justified, that he called me a “fucking cb”. not once, not twice, but thrice.
with you, there’s a dream that awaits us. a dream that I have always wished for, and I hope, someday, somehow, you will take me there.
for everyday, every living moment, I keep the faith strong in me.
what are the signs to show that someone truly does love you? how are we so sure that the everyday “i love you” he says to you is not simply for the sake of saying it. how do we tell if he is honest and real in his love for you?
based on the things he does? the things he says? the way he behaves?
what if one day, he stops saying it. does that mean he doesn’t love you anymore? what if he doesn’t even do the usual texting anymore, does that mean you are not as important as you used to be to him? does that mean he doesn’t think of you anymore?
how does anyone judge love based on all of these?
maybe sometimes we are too caught in “what used to be” and we get queasy with the changes around us. we start jumping into senseless conclusions that drive our minds insane. but then again, we ask, why do things have to change? why can’t he remain and do the things he used to do? why does all these have to stop? why does he stop?
when he says “forever”, what did he actually mean? did “forever” have a time limit? maybe it wasn’t infinity like how it was to us. maybe, he held a different connotation to it.
i wished i had an answer.
wake up your idea before you do something you’ll regret. stop behaving like a mindless-fuck when you’re supposed to be old enough to use some of your brain cells for the appropriate things. stop blaming others before you take a closer look at yourself. don’t blame others for your incapability. don’t blatantly deny your mistakes and turn tables around. all these behavior is plain appalling.
no sense of remorse after you lie, no sense of guilt. no guts to even man up to the things you have done, but instead display a stubborn and “righteous” front that you’re right. sigh, what are you?
you want respect? earn it, don’t demand.
my tolerance has a limit, mind you.
there’s a fine line between being friendly and being flirtatious.
